Single at Christmas? How to hold on to your festive cheer

girl hanging decorations on christmas tree

So, the tree is decorated, the pohutukawa is blooming and the presents bought (or at least thought about!) The sillly season is well underway, so there should be no reason for feeling glum. Yet, the sight of all those smiling couples planning gifts and summer holidays and generally radiating love can make you a bit blue.

The fact is, many Kiwi singles find that the festive season is a difficult time to be flying solo – but it doesn’t have to be! With the help of our Partner Psychologist, Relationship Coach Sam Owen, we found out how you can make the most of being single at Christmas.

Why being single at Christmas is no bad thing.

According to Statistics New Zealand, 23% of Kiwi households are single occupant,1 suggesting that a considerable proportion of the population will be spending this Christmas without a partner. On the surface, this seems like it should be something to avoid – after all, waking up in a single bed on Christmas morning is far more Bridget Jones than Love, Actually. But, as it turns out, being single at Christmas has plenty of silver linings.

For starters, you get have Christmas the way you want it, with far less compromise than if you were part of a couple. If you have no family obligations then you are free to treat the day as your very own celebration: volunteering, going out to enjoy the peace and quiet, eating turkey in your pajamas – anything goes! Whatever you do, just make sure to treat yourself rather than wallowing. As Sam Owen says, ‘’you will always feel better when you proactively take your destiny into your own hands. You’re not going to undo the pressure by sitting at home worrying about it or feeling deflated by your predicament.’’2

READ MORE: Ready to be proactive? Learn more about how to seize the moment and make the most of online dating.

For those Kiwis who are headed to see family, there is another definite bright side to being single. Unlike your coupled-up friends, you don’t have to bicker about whose relatives to spend time with, nor do you have to worry about fitting in with a partner’s family routines. In fact, when you‘re single at Christmas, the only people getting on your nerves about such essential matters as gravy thickness and stuffing allocation will be your people; those you truly hold dear. Now that is a definite silver lining!

Making the most of Kiwi Christmas cheer

Of course, while being single at Christmas definitely has it perks, this is also a fantastic time of year to keep your eyes out for someone special. Indeed, as there are many Kiwis out there who feel especially strongly around Christmas that they would like to meet someone, it can be an excellent opportunity to find love.

Furthermore, this time of year is full of social activities that you can utilise alongside your online endeavours. This is the month for everything from office parties to summer barbeques and from casual beach outings to glam New Year’s Eve soirees, meaning that others are many opportunities to meet new people. According to Owen, such ‘’parties and family gatherings can be a great way to meet eligible bachelors and bachelorettes,’’ especially as, at this time of the year, ‘’people are in higher spirits and, therefore, more relaxed!’’

READ MORE: The Kiwi summer is full of oppotune moments and romantic date ideas – discover the best ones here.

Your chances of impressing at these parties are also given a boost thanks to a touch of festive glamour. As Owen points out, ‘’holidays… are treated as special occasions and so we make an effort with our appearance; if we look good on the outside, we feel more confident on the inside’’ In other words, if you are looking for love this summer, don’t stay at home: get your glad-rags on and get ready to mingle – it’s good for you!

Laying the track for next year

You may also find that this confidence boost is useful for more than just festive parties. Indeed, if you manage to put some of that confidence and positivity into your profile, you’ll soon find that it has a beneficial effect on your online dating activities too! Owen confirms this, noting that ‘’confidence is great for making new acquaintances and helps us to feel more optimistic in general.’’ She goes on to point out that ‘’you need optimism when you’re looking for a long-term relationship because it sends messages to your subconscious that you will win in your endeavour, and then the mind goes to work on making that a reality.’’

If you really are serious about making love a reality and saying goodbye to being single at Christmas, then there’s no time like the present to join EliteSingles. After all, our membership numbers tend to hike significantly between Boxing Day and New Year’s Eve, meaning that you’ll be in good company on our site. Not only that, by beginning your membership now, you’ll be greatly increasing your chances of finding love in time for next Christmas – if not far sooner!

READ MORE: Kiwi singles love optimism in a dating profile – but that’s not all! Master the art of the perfect profile with these tips.

In fact, an EliteSingles members’ survey showed that it takes members 82 days (on average) to find a compatible, long-term partner on our site – 60 days to get comfortable enough with the platform that they know when the ideal person comes along and then another 22 days of calls and messages before that first date.3 In other words, there is plenty of time to find someone in time for next year’s festive season. What’s more, if you use this time to make a real effort – answering the personality test honestly and filling in your profile fully – you may just find someone truly wonderful, who could be in your life for many Christmases to come!

If love is on your wishlist this Christmas, why not join EliteSingles today?

If you have any questions, please write to us at [email protected]

EliteSingles editorial, updated December 2014


1 Statistics New Zealand: Tatauranga Aotearoa. National family and household projections.

2 All quotes from a 2014 EliteSingles interview with Sam Owen: a relationship coach, author, and EliteSingles’ partner psychologist.

3 EliteSingles Survey, 2013.

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