Online dating advice for women: The five steps to success!

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Online dating has created a brave new world for single women in search of love. Indeed, the functionality of the web gives single Kiwis the ability to look for a partner using specific criteria (and to screen those who don’t fit the bill) – which means that there is a great chance of finding someone compatible online.

Little wonder then, that more and more New Zealanders are turning to the internet to find someone. In fact, nearly a quarter of singles were dating online at last count,1 a number that only looks set to increase.2 In other words, it makes sense to look for love on the web. To help our female members do just that, we have some dating advice for women; guidelines to help make the most of the EliteSingles adventure (and, who knows, maybe the men can pick up a tip or two as well!)

Online dating advice for women in search of real love

1. Make that profile count.

You are fabulous. Funny, smart, educated, successful – but how can any potential dates know all that unless you are prepared to put yourself out there? A perfected profile might not be the easiest thing in the world to write but it is worth doing. It shows the world who you are and what you can offer. It may seem crude to think of dating in marketing terms, but there’s a simile here: your profile should be a bit like a window display. You are showcasing the best of yourself in order to pique the interest of someone equally wonderful.

Give it a go: Just 52% of Kiwi singles would open a profile with no pictures – so be sure to complete your display with some great photos!3

2. Authenticity goes a long way

One of the ways you can get the most success from your ‘window display’ is to be authentic in your online interactions. While some statistics seem to suggest that following a formula is the best to way to ramp up interest,4 this doesn’t really tell the whole story. Yes, taking photos a certain way or writing a certain type of profile may result in more messages, but if this projected persona doesn’t match the authentic you then the messages you receive won’t match either. Being honest in your interactions – answering the personality test carefully and using current photos – means that those who do get in touch will be interested in the real you. When it comes to messages from matches, quantity might be one thing, but quality is so much more rewarding.

Give it a go: The EliteSingles personality test is the foundation of our success. Learn more about taking it here.

3. Know what you want

Being honest is important when relating with others online, but it is also important that you be honest with yourself. This is an opportunity to let EliteSingles help you to meet someone truly compatible, who really fulfils your desires – so it is important to clarify what those desires are. Indeed, some dating experts even suggest starting out your online journey by making a really precise wishlist,5 including everything from specific location to future plans. That way, when it comes time to fill in your profile details, or to look through potential matches, you will already have an idea in mind of what you think will work.

Give it a go: Still not sure what you are looking for? Learn about the kinds of single men that use our site and get inspired!

4. Confidence is attractive

It is a truism that confidence can be very attractive.6 A key piece of dating advice for women is to learn to embrace this, using that confidence to make a first move. If someone interesting sounding pops up as one of your suggestions then why not be the first to get in touch? After all, there’s a good chance they simply may not have seen your profile yet, so waiting on them could result in a missed opportunity. If you find someone intriguing, then there is no harm in reaching out and saying hello. If that sounds too daunting, then try our guide to the perfect first message – it is ideal if you don’t know where to start!

Give it a go: Need some first message practice? Try our top first message tips

5. Be kind to yourself

Even the most confident women know that looking for love is not always a social whirl. You can be armed with every online dating trick in the book and still experience a quiet patch or send a message that gets no reply. The thing is, these quiet patches happen to everyone. They are not a reflection of anyone’s worth. This is why it is so vital to be kind to yourself when online. Taking the time to remind yourself that you are in fact wonderful and that you are worthy of love is the best way to get your head back in the game – and you may just find that the appeal of a positive attitude7 is the quickest route to a succesful match.

Give it a go: In an EliteSingles members survey, Kiwis voted negativity as the biggest profile mistake someone can make. In other words, it pays to be positive!8

Internet romance may be a brave new world but it is one that is easy to navigate when armed with the right online dating advice. When you mix an eye-catching profile with an authentic, confident approach and a dash of kindness, you have a recipe that is bound to cook up success for many Kiwi women. Exciting prospect, isn’t it?

The EliteSingles adventure starts here. Are you ready? Register today.

If you have any questions, please leave a comment below or write to us at [email protected]

EliteSingles editorial, January 2015


1 Katie Englehart for Mcleans, 2013. Online dating and the search for true love — or loves. Found at

2 Paul Sawyers for Next Web, 2012. Online dating spend grows by 60% on last year and the industry can only get bigger. Found at

3 EliteSingles ‘Dating Profile’members survey, 2014.

4 Caitlin Roper for Wired, 2014. How to Create the Perfect Online Dating Profile, in 25 Infographics. Found at

5 Amy Webb for The Guardian, 2014. Online dating: 10 rules to help find the ideal partner. Found at

6 Seth Myers, Psy.D for Psychology Today, 2011. Secret Tips: What Makes Someone Sexy & Have Sex Appeal. Found at

7 As above

8 EliteSingles ‘Dating Profile’members survey, 2014.

About the author: Sophie Watson

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