No second chances: the (surprising) slip-ups ruining first dates in New Zealand

Don’t be rude. Be on time. Don’t mention the ex. We all know the common dating commandments – but they aren’t the only first date faux-pas. A new EliteSingles study of 500 Kiwi singles has revealed some surprising first date slip-ups (and one that’s not as bad as the experts would have you think)!

Five surprising first date faux-pas

  • Taking pictures of your meal
    Bad news for fans of the Hefe filter: taking photos of your food is definitely off-putting. In fact it’s considered even worse than common dating deal-breakers like dressing inappropriately!
  • Getting out your selfie stick during dinner
    It might be an idea to put away your camera altogether as mid-date selfies are also a no-no. Indeed, hated by one-in-five Kiwi men, they’re an even bigger first date sin than being late.
  • Listening politely to your date’s stories
    Most experts agree that listening to someone intently isn’t just polite; it’s attractive. But, during a first date, that rule goes out the window. More than 70% of NZ singles would prefer their date to be someone who talks too much instead of a quiet soul who simply listens.
  • Wearing too much jewellery
    88% of Kiwis want a casual first date. Maybe that’s why wearing ornate jewellery is considered even more of a first date fashion faux pas than turning up in active wear!
  • Adding your date on Facebook
    You should wait before sending that friend request: nearly 20% of Kiwis would be put off of a second date with someone who immediately added them on social media.

The dating no-no that’s not as bad as etiquette experts make out

  • Being a bad kisser

If you want to know if they love you so, it’s in their kiss – right? Wrong. Less than 3% of New Zealanders think that the quality of a kiss matters on the first date. In fact, as deal-breakers go, bad kissing is one of the most minor: the only thing more inoffensive is not tipping!

Should I stay or should I go now: how to get out of a bad date

Do deal-breakers matter? Considering that 70% of Kiwis surveyed would be prepared to end a date early over a deal-breaker (and that 21% have already done so), the answer is most likely yes.

So, what’s the most common way to ditch a bad date? Unlike what you see in the movies, it’s not via a faked emergency or sudden imaginary illness. Instead, 67% of New Zealanders would opt to simply tell the truth to their date – no matter how harsh that truth might be.

EliteSingles psychologist, Salama Marine, has these words of wisdom for anyone needing to leave a date early: ‘’you shouldn’t have to stay on an awkward date for hours with a stranger if you don’t want to. But it is important to choose your words carefully; you need to show your date that you do respect them and consider them an equal, despite not feeling romantically attracted to them. There’s no need to be unnecessarily hurtful or mean; you simply need to explain that you cannot picture yourself romantically with them and that you feel your personalities aren’t matched.’’

To discover 5 of the biggest first date dealbreakers, please see our full article on this study.

Press contact: Sophie Watson

EliteSingles Research, PR and Editorial

[email protected]

About the author: The EliteSingles Press Team

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