How to write a profile that really grabs attention
In order to find out the best profile writing tips, we talked to real EliteSingles members about the kind of love they’re looking for1 (after all, who better to comment on our members’ wants and wishes than our users themselves?). Read on to discover the best tips for writing the perfect profile - and learn what you MUST avoid!
The quest to write a profile that captures hearts
1. Have the right attitude
We asked 1,000 singles from New Zealand, Australia, the United Kingdom, Ireland, South Africa and Canada about what their biggest profile turn-off was. The answers were a little surprising, particularly when you just look at the Kiwi replies!
Turn offs differ around the world, at least according to our users. While the most despised trait in the UK was poor spelling and while the Canadians are not fans of innuendo, in New Zealand we just want people to be nice. According to our New Zealand respondents, the biggest turn off one can have in a profile was negativity. Indeed, 26 per cent of our Kiwi members voted negativity the biggest profile no-no, edging out insufficient profile description (24 per cent), innuendo (17 per cent), narcissism (12 per cent), clichés (10 per cent) and poor spelling (9 per cent).
EMBRACE: Being positive
EliteSingles Partner Psychologist, Relationship Coach Sam Owen agrees that the best way to write a profile is to avoid negativity. She says that this is because ‘‘you will transfer your negativity to [others] and then they’ll associate you with that negativity, subconsciously and perhaps consciously. This will result in them avoiding you, even if they don’t consciously recognise why they are.’’2 Conversely, if you embrace positivity, you will find that people are drawn to your enthusiasm. An upbeat attitude is essential if you want to win people over, both in your dating profile and in your first messages.
2. Say cheese
Another big turn off for our members is coming across a half-finished profile. A quarter of Kiwis (24 per cent) were put off by this, a sentiment that was echoed by some 20per cent of the 1,000 survey respondents. While, for some, this refers to written content, the majority of our users were concerned about profile photos – and the lack thereof.
AVOID: Coming across as camera shy
In fact, 48 per cent of Kiwi respondents wouldn’t even open a profile that was devoid of photos. This means that, if you choose anonymity, you are alienating nearly half of your potential suitors – definite naughty list behavior! Owen suggests that the reason so many people prefer seeing photos is because ‘’If you haven’t got a photo attached it makes it really hard for other online daters to connect with you as another human being.’’ This is partly due to the fact that ‘’we build up an idea of a person’s personality by looking at their photo.’’3
EMBRACE: Your moment in the spotlight
It does seem that visuals are vital to online dating, with 49 per cent of Kiwis rating the photo as the one thing that they look most closely at in a profile (a trend echoed in every single country we surveyed). Of course, simply having a pic is not enough: those who tend to top the nice list also avoid the most common photo mistakes. In New Zealand these include having a photo that is too revealing (chosen as the biggest no-no by 23 per cent), being in too many group pictures (19 per cent), and presenting a photo that is poorly photo-shopped (also 19 per cent). Interestingly, the much-maligned selfie was not as hated as its reputation would suggest, being picked as the biggest photo sin by just 4 per cent of our members.