The best online dating tips – all of our top expert advice

handsome man updating his online dating profile in a cafe

Want to meet someone great this year? There’s no time like the present to get started with online dating – after all, January is peak dating season at EliteSingles! To make the most of the increased numbers, you have to know how to play the game, which is where our online dating tips can help.

Over the years, we’ve had many experts give us amazing advice, on everything from first steps, to writing a profile, to saying hello. Here are our favourites; our top online dating tips.

Step 1: Getting started with the personality test

At EliteSingles, we pride ourselves on our matchmaking process. To help us make truly compatible match suggestions, we first get to know our members’ romantic needs and desires – and that’s where our personality test comes in. A completed test allows us to find out what someone wants in a partner and to then find Kiwi singles who might fit the bill. For this reason, we always recommend a rather simple first step: answer the personality test carefully and honestly. It’s the best way to ensure that your match suggestions are going to suit you.

Step 2: Creating a great profile

Ready to get started? Once the test is complete, the next step is to highlight your best qualities by means of a winning dating profile. Why is this necessary? Well, as Relationship Coach Sam Owen told EliteSingles: ‘’a great profile is a vital part of the online dating process as it can help those you’re matched with find out who you genuinely are.’’1 Again, the best advice here is to be honest and, ideally, quite positive: in an EliteSingles survey, New Zealanders voted negativity the biggest profile turnoff.2

Step 3: Adding interest via photos

The cliché says that a picture is worth a thousand words, and that certainly seems to be true with online dating. Tips about how to get great photos abound for a very good reason – photos are an excellent way to bring attention to your profile. As important as they are, the advice for producing a fabulous photo is really quite simple: as dating coach Ronnie Ann Ryan recommends, get comfortable, then get a friend to help you take some relaxed, happy shots that, preferably, show your face without sunglasses or shadows in the way.3

Step 4: Sending that first message

An inviting profile will bring interested people to you – but that’s just part of the process. When online dating, it’s vital to be proactive if you want success. And that means sending messages to people you find interesting – on the regular. Indeed, dating coach Peter Spalton suggests that the best results come from dedicated messaging, recommending singles set time aside each day to say hi to those they find intriguing.4 Equally important is the content of your message: be brief but be personal – and never, never copy-paste!

Step 5: Taking the online offline

All of our online dating tips are designed for one main purpose: to help you meet someone with whom you can see a future. However, before you reach that happy destination, there’s one more bridge to cross – you have to meet them in the offline world. After all, while an online match can bring with it a wonderful emotional and intellectual connection, you also need that offline chemistry. Researchers at the University of Florida recently revealed just how essential this is; suggesting that you wait no longer than 17 -23 days after a first message to arrange a first meeting. Any longer and you run the risk of severe disappointment if the offline fireworks don’t match that online spark.5

Following the online dating tips above is a great way to give yourself a romantic boost. Ready to give the steps a go (and perhaps meet someone wonderful in the process?) It all starts with joining EliteSingles. Just click here to get going.

EliteSingles editorial January 2016

If you’ve got more online dating tips, we’d love to hear them! Let us know with a comment below or email us at [email protected]


1 EliteSingles interview with Relationship Coach Sam Owen, October 2014.

2 EliteSingles ”Dating Profiles” survey, 2014

3 Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan, writing for YourTango. ‘9 tips to take the perfect photo for your online dating profile.’ Found at

4 Lucy Vine, writing for The Telegraph ‘Seven tips for successful online dating.’ Found at

5 Claire Cohen, writing for the Telegraph ‘Online dating tipping point: When should you meet in person?’ Found at

About the author: Sophie Watson

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